Mastering Your Nervous System: A Path to Freedom from Smoking

Shownotes

00:00 Understanding Nervous System Regulation

06:37 Practical Meditation Techniques

13:10 Conclusion and Resources

TRANSCRIPT

Jennifer Green (00:07)

Hello, I'm Jennifer Green and this is the Quit For Good podcast. I'm here to help you quit smoking for good. The problem with most smoking cessation advice is that it comes from well-meaning health professionals who have never felt the pain of nicotine addiction. I smoked for over 30 years before quitting for good in 2016, and I've been offering advice and coaching to quitters ever since. My book Quit Smoking For Good takes you on a transformational journey from hopeless smoker to healthy nonsmoker in five simple steps. 

This podcast will contain many of the same things I offer in my book, but without the step-by-step linear structure. Those things are compassion, empathy, and personal truth-telling—combined with science- and psychology-based strategies for behavior change. 

No matter where you are in your quitting journey, you can always begin again. So let's get started.

Jennifer Green (01:14)

What if I told you you're focusing on the wrong problem? 

In this episode, I want to talk about regulating your nervous system. I suspect that many smokers and addicts of all kinds have trouble regulating their own nervous systems. I know I did, and honestly, I still do. This is hard stuff, especially when we didn't learn it from our parents, who also didn't learn it from their parents, so let's give them a break.

Regulating your nervous system requires multiple steps. First, you have to notice that you are out of balance. Is your heart rate elevated? Are your palms sweating? Is your fight or flight response kicking in? And second, you need the ability to make a choice about your response. In the case of a near car accident, your reflexive response might save your life.

When it comes to reacting to a super annoying thing your spouse has done—again—Your reactive outbursts might startle the pets, set a poor example for your children, and eventually could even end your marriage That's the appeal of a chemical substance like nicotine. They offer instant regulation or a state change that seems almost good enough. If only it weren't for the costs—to your health and your potential to flourish as a mature human being. 

So, yes, we know that you need to quit smoking, but if you don't learn how to regulate your nervous system, every craving is going to feel unbearable to you. 

The bad news is that this isn't something you're going to fix today and never worry about again. It's an ongoing process that you'll need to work on over time.

The good news is that there are plenty of other crutches and ways to ease the pain of quitting smoking, so you don't need to master this before you quit. You can find these supports in my book, which I will link to in the show notes. 

For today, let's just get started on the most effective way to start mastering your nervous system, which is meditation. 

If you've never meditated before, it can seem weird, intimidating, pointless, or a complete waste of your time. For years, I refused to try. I would say, “I don't sit on a cushion all day. I live a regular life with bills and shit.” But then I started doing it.

And I thought, “Wow, it's really easy for me to think about nothing for a few minutes. I don't need to practice this because I'm already good at it.” Ha ha wrong attitude, Jennifer. I needed more beginner's mind, which allows us to be curious about something without thinking that we already know better. Without beginner's mind, you're not very coachable. And hence it's kind of hard for you to learn new things.

After more than 10 years of meditating, I can now see and feel how invaluable it is to create space between my emotions, thoughts, and reactions. Plus, it feels great and I really look forward to it. A little bit like smoking used to be, but it doesn't make me cough and I don't have to feel guilty about it at all.

I have a trick for making it feel great that I will share with you in a minute. It also extends my patience, sometimes for hours after I practice. Literally, there are no downsides to meditating. 

Now, there are many styles and types of meditation and they're all just a click away. I've used Insight Timer, Calm, the Waking Up app, with Sam Harris, First This, with Kathryn Nicolai and an app called The Way, by Henry Shuckman. I've played free guided meditations on YouTube. I've done body scans, healing meditations, listened to binaural beats to change my brain waves. I've practiced special breathing techniques to wake up or relax. And I've done silent meditation. I've been on retreats with longer sits. 

And after trying so many different things, I've learned that I don't like practices that must be followed in a certain way or you're doing it wrong. I also don't like practices that have a lot of religious dogma. And I especially don't like to be told how to pose my physical body. Sometimes I meditate sitting up in a chair, but more often than not, I lay down.

Maybe I'm missing out on something big, but I'm okay with that. The best way to do something that you are trying to make a habit of is the way that you will do it every day. If you make it uncomfortable, unpleasant, or annoying, what are the odds that you'll show up day after day? Unless you're Jocko Willink or David Goggins. Those guys are super inspirational, by the way, and their masculine energy is a bit overwhelming. Both things can be true. 

Okay, let's do a quick five minute meditation to wrap this up. If you're driving, please save this for later.

Find yourself a quiet place where you can be uninterrupted and get into a comfortable position. You can sit on a chair, sit on the floor, sit on a pillow, sit cross-legged on your couch.

You can lie on your bed or lie on the floor with your legs up the wall. This sends blood to your brain and can be restorative if your legs are sore. If the thought of sitting or lying still is giving you hives, you can try walking very slowly back and forth in a room with a little bit of space. If you're walking, keep your eyes open with a sort of soft focus. It might help to remove your glasses if you wear them.

Whichever position you're in, if you can, keep your spine straight to aid in unobstructed breathing. And try opening your chest by rotating your shoulders back and down a bit. None of this should cause pain or be effortful. Take it nice and easy.

Now, let's start with a couple of deep breaths to relax and ground yourself in this moment. If you're not walking, close your eyes. Breathe all the way to your belly through your nose.

Then exhale with a long sigh out your mouth.

You can even put your lips in a circle like you're blowing out smoke if you want. Okay, let's do that two more times. Deep breath in,

and sigh it out.

And last time, deep breath all the way down to your diaphragm,

and let it all out.

Okay, now just let your breathing return to normal. We're going to choose something about your physical experience to focus on, like your breath, or the weight of your body, or any sensations that you feel in your hands and feet. Beginner's choice is usually the breath, at whatever point is the most noticeable to you. If you focus on your nostrils, you might notice that your breath is cool on the inhale and warm on the exhale. Or you may choose to feel your belly button rising up and down.

You will have some thoughts. When you do, try to notice that you are thinking. You might just say, “thinking” to yourself inside your head. If it helps, you can repeat, inhale when you breathe in and exhale when you breathe out. You can also count. This gives you just enough focus on something that it helps to minimize the racing thoughts that are typical for our brains.

–silence–

Keep breathing.

–silence–

If your mind has started wandering, that's okay. Just bring your attention back to your breath or the physical sensations that you feel inside your body.

We have just another minute or so left.

–silence–

[closing bell]

You did it. Thank you for meditating with me. And thanks for listening. I hope this was helpful. I'm Jennifer Green. You can find me at nonsmokerforgood.com. And my free Newsletter for Quitters is at Good Works for Good. And that's spelled out F-O-R. Good W-O-R-K-S F-O-R G-O-O-D dot substack dot com.

And here's your legal disclaimer if you're still with me: The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. While the strategies and techniques presented here may be helpful in your journey to quit smoking, they are not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any medical conditions. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified healthcare provider before making any significant changes to your health regimen or if you have concerns about quitting smoking, especially if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or have any pre-existing health conditions. This podcast does not replace professional medical treatment or counseling. Success in quitting smoking varies from person to person, and your results may differ. Jennifer Green and Quit For Good, a project of ShuShu Design LLC, make no guarantees regarding the effectiveness of the methods shared and encourage listeners to find the support and resources that work best for their individual needs. 

Take care and keep going. I believe in you.