My Quitting Journey Was a Mess 

Helpful Thought: All directions lead to your future.

Sometimes when you talk to someone who has already quit smoking, it seems like it was probably easy for them. One day, they just did it. And now they’re living happily ever after. Forever. While you still smell like an ashtray.

God, this mythical, ex-smoker sucks. S/he seems like a real know-it-all.

But that’s not how it happened.

Joseph Campbell’s concept of the “Hero’s Journey” comes from his book, The Hero with a Thousand Faces. The Hero’s Journey breaks down mythical storytelling into twelve steps, often presented in a circle, but in Hollywood the “hero’s journey” is framed as an arc (with all the big action at the high point of the curve). They start with a protagonist in the ordinary world who receives a call to action. Along the way, there are mentors and tests. Stories that follow this template often end with the return home, presumably victorious. 

It’s worth thinking about this endeavor to quit as a journey and remembering that, like most trips from here to there, it doesn’t follow a perfectly straight line.

When I first began writing about quitting smoking, I wrote down the steps of my own journey:

Before

• I smoked for 30 years.
• I knew I needed to quit.
• I believed I would need to be locked up for an extended period to get free of cigarettes. Why hasn’t anyone invented Quit Smoking jail?! Well, that’s rehab, hun.

During

• I joined a 12-step program.
• I quit.
• I relapsed.
• I went to a rational behavior therapy (RBT/CBT) addiction group.
• I quit again.
• I relapsed.
• I found a “Mindfulness Training for Smokers” program through my local hospital.
• I quit again.
• I relapsed.
• I quit again.

After

• I stayed quit. It’s been nine years now. I occasionally think about how fun smoking used to seem sometimes, but I never want a cigarette.

• I finally found the right combination of strategies and tactics that worked for me.

In the midst of this “During” period, I sincerely thought I was doomed. But when I look back on it now, I can see that every step took me closer to my ultimate smoke-free destination.

Now, I’m a non-smoker. So I don’t smoke. Period. You can be one too. If you're reading this, you're already on your way.  

An earlier version of this piece was originally published in A Newsletter for Quitters on Substack on January 22, 2023.